


the heart disorders the world

by quenchmysoul



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 2011 Stanley Cup Playoffs, 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs, Anal Fingering, Free Agency Day, M/M, Rimming, Tampa Bay Lightning, Vancouver Canucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 02:37:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/960581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quenchmysoul/pseuds/quenchmysoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's only a matter of when ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	the heart disorders the world

**Author's Note:**

> Trying to get back into the swing of writing. Title from a poem by Patrick Friesen.

_So this is how it ends_ , Sami thought, watching as he stared at his new contract. 

He supposes he should be used to this by now. After all, everything ends. It's just a matter of when, why, and how. Over the years, Sami has tried to find a way to quantify his time with his various teams, and no matter how he tried, it all still seemed surreal. 

That is, until he allowed his thoughts to turn to _him_. 

_I took Tampa's offer …_ he had said all those years ago when he opted to trade the rainy streets of Vancouver for the seemingly endless white sandy beaches of Tampa. 

Mattias gave him a slightly crooked smile, his hand clutching Sami's tightly. The kitchen feels unfamiliar, like Sami is only a visitor, even though he has been here so many times before. He glances down to where Mattias is clutching his hand. His hand is achingly familiar. It is the same hand that he shook all those years ago when he entered the Canucks locker room. It is the same one he clutches almost desperately now, willing his thoughts to stop spinning. 

"Sami …" Mattias trails off. All the words he wants to say threatening to burst from his lips like a dam bursting. 

The way Mattias says his name then - all rich and throaty - feels like a caress. Sami is struck by how Mattias always makes his name - _Sami_ \- sound different, depending on the inflection, or placement in his throat. 

"This isn't the end," Mattias says, voice overflowing with unspoken reassurance.

Sami wants to pull away from him then. Mattias's unspoken reassurances - laced through with promises - feels sticky, and clings to Sami's skin. 

"It feels like it," he returns dully, eyes trained on their interlaced fingers. The words echo in his chest cavity, and taste metallic against his tongue. 

Mattias is across the space separating them then, hand clutching the back of Sami's head - a slight desperation skirting the edges - as he presses his lips to Sami's. 

" _Sami …_ "

His name spills from the hollow of Mattias's throat. It feels like a kiss; much like the one he presses against the column of his neck. 

Sami clutches at Mattias's shoulder, a funny, breathy little sound leaves his slightly parted lips. Mattias scrapes Sami's skin with his teeth, moves his lips down his neck, tongue pressing against the tight cords in his neck. 

" _Sami_ ," Mattias whispers, the tip of his tongue darting out to trace the suprasternal notch. His name sounds like an afterthought. Sami barely recognizes it as his own as it falls from Mattias's lips. 

Mattias pushes his other hand up Sami's shirt, until his palm is pressing against his heart. He can feel it beat against Mattias's palm, can feel as Mattias digs his fingers into his skin. 

Sami moans and tugs Mattias forward. Mattias stumbles slightly before he's shoving Sami back against the countertop. The room barely stops spinning before Mattias helps Sami up onto it, kisses his mouth fiercely, bites at his bottom lip none too gently. Mattias is panting things against his skin that sound like 'not the end' and 'yes' and 'Sami'. Sami runs his fingers through Mattias's hair - the strands slipping through his fingers like sand - as he scrapes his nails over the nape of his neck. Desperation runs through his veins as he tugs Mattias's shirt up and off. 

"Sami … Sami … Sami …" Mattias whispers over and over again. His mouth savouring each letter, each syllable. It breaks apart every nuance, devouring it in the cavity of his mouth, before it spills across his lips. 

His name sounds like a song against Mattias's lips as he drags Sami's head to his, kisses him again. Mattias's mouth is wet, his kisses hot, open-mouthed and desperate. 

"This is - you should know it's never the end with us -"

"Shh," Sami starts, "I want to believe it. I really do. I just -" 

"I know." He rubs his thumb over the underside of Sami's wrist. Mattias says, "It's fine. It's enough."

Sami knows what Mattias is trying to say, before he pulls at his belt buckle. Mattias pushes his hands away, tugs the button loose on his jeans, before he focuses his attention on tugging the button loose on Sami's pants. He pulls Sami's pants down until gravity takes over and they drop to the kitchen floor in a heap. 

Mattias runs a hand up Sami's leg, mutters _shh_ as Sami trembles under his palms. Their eyes meet - blue against blue - and Mattias is almost afraid to touch him. Almost like he is afraid Sami will break if he does. Sami's breath is shaky as he exhales, before he wraps his legs around Mattias's waist. 

They end up in the bedroom eventually. Sami trembles as Mattias's hands trail over every inch of his body. His name falls from his lips like Mattias is reciting a prayer. A slight desperation and possessiveness in the tone. 

Mattias is slow and methodical as he fucks Sami. First with his tongue, then his fingers. The noises spilling from Sami's mouth are a jumbled mess of syllables and whimpers. He fists his hands in the sheets as Mattias finally pushes in, slow and hesitant at first, almost as if he could prolong this moment forever.

Mattias makes more noise than anyone Sami has ever been with. The sounds raw and ragged and desperate, his fingers digging into Sami's hips. Sami mutters 'don't stop' over and over again. His tone full of need; like he will shatter if Mattias stops.

Mattias doesn't.

Sami comes, breathy little pants spilling from his slightly parted lips. Mattias falls forward, buries his face in the crook of Sami's neck as he shudders his orgasm out, Sami's name gasping out of him.

*

Everything ends. It's like the natural order of things. It's just a question of when. Sometimes the end is game seven of the 2011 Cup Finals. Other times, it is game five of the first round of the 2011-2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs. 

Sami has never felt so small and lost than he does as 2012's Free Agency day arrives.Talks break down with Gillis and Canucks management. They don't want to budge on another one-year deal. Then the call comes from the Lightning. 

He accepts. It is an end to his time in Vancouver. The first text he gets after the deal is announced, is from Mattias. 

_It's not the end._

Sami knows what it means. It's a comfort, even if it is slightly bittersweet. 

*  
The sun burns the horizon red as Sami pulls into Mattias's driveway. He is struck by the beauty of Tampa's sunsets. The colours so undiluted and pure as they spill across the horizon, like paint splashed across a canvas. 

The door opens. Mattias still looks the same, but there is a brittleness in his posture, and in his eyes. Blue and grey like a storm. Sami can still remember the pressure of Mattias's mouth on his collarbone from all those years ago. 

"Hey, Sami," he says, stepping to the side, opening his door wider. 

He lets Mattias curl his arms around him, pulling him tight to his chest. His face presses against Sami's shoulder, breathes in deeply, one of his hands curling around the nape of his neck. 

"It's good to see you," Mattias whispers. 

Mattias's touch is gentle against his back and he can feel as their heart beats fall into a synchronized rhythm. 

He doesn't know what to say, but _Mattias_ spills from his mouth before he realizes it is his own voice. His name sounds like a song. Rich, real, and somewhat new. 

Mattias puts a fingertip against Sami's lips. _Sami_ , he returns simply.

Even though Mattias has said his name before, it sounds different this time. His name falling from Mattias's lips then sounds like he is saying it for the first time. As if he is the only Sami he has known, and can see for miles around. Like the world has stopped moving for this one moment. The moment when Sami finally leans forward, their foreheads resting against the other. 

"Welcome home," Mattias says.


End file.
